Kat's Blog

Kat's Blog

Friday, February 04, 2011

His Name is MICHAEL


my charming, prolific, and exceptionally gorgeous

bubble blowing daughter, has asked me to invite

 MICHAEL the Butler from the Moore-Reed Estate here and turn him over to the dubious skills of  The Nana Wattanaught Review.

Michael is one of the co-stars of my March 1st release, The Pendulum Swings, and he's hotter than

jalapenos but was stuffier than my nose

during allergy seasons...which of late is year round. The Pendulum Swings is being released from the Muse It Hot Side

of the Muse Publishing House; ably helmed by Canada's premier answer to E-Publishing, Award Winning Lea Schizas.

When I first met Michael, there's no way he would have agreed to come here and share his thoughts. He was far too

UPPER CRUST for such frivolities. (You should know Michael was born and raised in the Mecca of Superior Right-ness, Poughkeepsi, New York. Not the farthest point on the globe from the birthplace of

STIFFER THAN A FIREPLACE POKER elegance, but you'd never have gotten the Michael I first met to admit that...or come here.)

Michael had a pole going up his butt so high you could actually see it when you looked into his eyes.

Until the lady of the house came home and blew the staunchiness right out of the whole household and everyone that lived there.

Michael can now be seen wearing things like

Dashiki's and something called

a Schenti.

Here comes Nana, so let me slip up to the Green Room so Nana can do her thing.

I am Nana Wattanaught, ace chronicler from the Nana Wattanaught Review. Join me in welcoming the incomparable butler from the Moore-Reed household, Michael.

Michael I want to thank you for coming in and sharing some of your thoughts and insights with us this evening. Let's get started. What is it like being the head man in the Moore-Reed household?

That used to be a position of distinction, until Mrs. Moore...I will NOT call her Siri or Joanna out here. It wouldn't be "proper". Uhm, you aren't going to tell Mrs. Reed that I said that are you?

Are you afraid of Joanna Moore-Reed? For those of you tuning in for the first time, and God knows where you've been if that is the case, Joanna Moore-Reed who is calling herself 'Siri' Moore-Reed since her accident months ago, is the CEO of the Moore Foundation. Michael here,  is her household CEO, her butler. To repeat my question Michael, are you afraid of Mrs. Reed?

"Good Heavens, No! But I AM a butler! It just is not proper to call Mrs. Reed by her given name out here in public. Decorum is still important."

And yet my sources tell me all formality, class distinction between your staff and the Moore-Reed family has disappeared. Is that true and how did that come to pass?

"You are all aware that Mrs. Reed was in a serious accident over a year ago now. None of us knows what happened to her, but the Joanna Moore-Reed that went into the hospital is not the Joanna Moore-Reed that came out of the hospital.

She changed. Big time. It began from the moment she stepped back inside the estate. She no longer could tolerate the fine designer clothes that had been the center of her world pre-accident. It was almost as if the very presence of anything connected to high fashion made her skin itch."

Joanna Moore-Reed, the queen of local social circles, forerunner for fashionista of the East and West coasts, hated her designer clothes?

"It was astonishing to us too. She began wearing these skimpy little things, little more than craftily folded bed sheets, but less, a LOT less. Sometimes she made it really HARD to be around her.

"But she didn't stop with just redesigning her own wardrobe. She determined it would make her itch almost as much if she had to see US wearing anything but comfortable clothes, like Dashikis and these things ancient Egyptian men wore, women wore them too, but we don't want to talk about how revealing a female schenti is, so I'm just going to stick with the male version.

"It's scandalous enough, I can assure you. I mean "hello", where is a man supposed to...uhm hide himself?

Are you telling my audience that this NEW Joanna Moore-Reed wants you to...

"Lord No, Woman! That's insane. Our's is still a very proper house...well, we do a lot of belly dancing now." <chuckle> "I remember hunting high and low looking for ancient Egyptian music so Mrs. R. could teach the ladies on the staff and the Little Missy, how to do the exotic dance as it was taught, maybe still is, in Egypt.

"The Little Missy was so cute!"

Not everyone agrees that belly dancing and running around in nearly nothing is a good thing. I am sure you've seen these photos.

How do you respond to the critics that are jumping out of the woodwork to condemn this new Joanna-Siri Moore-Reed?

Michael's mouth tightens into a thin white line as he looks at the photos.

"These photos were taken by paparazzi skulking around hoping to cause as much grief as they possibly can. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a mother and daughter enjoying time creatively together, any more than I find anything wrong with Mrs. R. having the rest of us join in, learning something that has been around forever standing the test of time.

"I challenge the creepy crawlers that hovered in the trees like rabid squirrels aiming their telephoto lenses inside our windows, or the back yard to get those pictures.

"And for what? They make money off of selling other people's privacy! Disgraceful!

"To those who think Mrs. Reed is in any way harming that precious girl, I suggest they try belly dancing and maybe their jealousy will whittle away along with their spreading waistlines.

"I also suggest that anyone who wants the REAL story, go to the Muse It Hot Website and purchase The Pendulum Swings!

"THEN tell me there is something wrong with the way the Moore-Reed household is run!"

Michael pulled the microphone from his collar, tossed it onto the seat he'd risen from, gave a hardy sneer into the camera before marching off the set.

OKAY! Our guest, Michael, and darn, I never did get to ask him about where he really comes from, or what his last name is. He just stormed out of here, quite enraged.

Hmmm, makes one wonder if the proper Michael isn't a tad in love with Joanna Moore-Reed? And does Jason Reed know the butler is head-over-schenti for his wife?

Well it looks like we are going to have to wait until March 1st, 2011when Muse It Hot Publishing releases

The Pendulum Swings by prolific author

L.J. Holmes, and cover by the Muse Publishing's Cover Goddess,

Delilah K. Stephans to get answers to these questions. 

Until then this is Nana Wattanaught saying have a great night and come back next time when we seek out the truth of the OTHER love affair going on inside the Moore-Reed household between

Mr. Aubusson and the

Mahogany Door.

The Pendulum Swings, joins,

Santa Is A Lady, and

Forever With You, on L.J. Holmes' Muse Author Page, AND the Muse Bookstore on March 1, 2011


Anonymous said...

FUN!! Man this is packed full of humor. I've read a few of your books, Lin, and know you've got a great style. I'm looking forward to reading your upcoming release. Congratulations!
Kat - nice blog!! Nice interview with "the butler" - so funny.

karen said...

I love it! I want it. Can't wait! Love, love, the presentation. Love, lust, oops, love Michael. I'll be buying "him", I mean "it". Darn fingers...


Lin said...

You both make me laugh too. Thanks for that.

I'm trying to figure out who should interview the carpet and the door...or maybe I should conduct an interview with a male and female schenti. That definitely ratchet up the heat level...but who should I have as the interview, Madame "something exotic" silkworm herself?

Lin said...

I did come up with the name for the Silkworm if I decide to interview either the schentis or the carpet. Madame Asuka Nanami Silkworm. What do you think?

Kaye Manro said...

Hi Kat-- very cute pics of you!

Lin-- you are so funny! You can make a chair (door?) sound interesting and fun! Cool!

Congrats and good luck!