Kat's Blog

Kat's Blog

Saturday, March 26, 2011

THE TIMP SHOW

Kat, what took you so long? I thought you'd be inviting me to come on over and share my wisdom with you long ago...or at the very least LONG before you let that

dashiki wearing

nut, Michael

blabber on. I mean so what he is in

THE PENDULUM SWINGS and it released on MARCH FIRST, you know I was already the star and source of all things important in

IN FROM THE COLD long before either you or L.J. Holmes contemplated dragging

that old story out of Lin's

mothball infested

filing cabinet. Who wants to talk to some half-baked, rod up his tale-hole butler when I am here?

For those of you who do not know me, and I cannot believe any such person exists,

I am Timp, the wiser than any

Mensa brainiac cat living with sexy as can be

Mari Donovan in IN FROM THE COLD. I am also the narrator for Lin's, A.K.A.

L.J. Holmes' cover blog for IN FROM THE COLD.

I hope you are not going to cover the same old ground, though. I

bore easily, and when I bore,

I drop off to sleep and, okay, I do emit the cutest little

huffing snores you'll ever hear. I am not here though to regale you with my melodic snorts. So what say we get to it. What do you want to know?

How long have you been allowing Mari Donovan to be your pet slave?

She's not really my slave...I mean would you call a woman who looks like this

a slave? I'm trying to think back to the beginning. I was just a little thing. Actually Mari is a conscientious pet. She got me from

the shelter. I know hard to believe anyone would not want to keep me around, but Fate, you know is wiser than you mortals. I was destined for Mari, so I had to be at the shelter when she came in to get...well...ME!

I was also the ONLY kitty available to leave that day. The shelter won't release us after abandonment for five days to make sure our abandoners don't change their minds.

There I was, looking cute and ready to have my bail paid so the shelter guards would turn me over to my delicious Mari.

What I am about to tell you is probably going to sound really disgusting, but I assure you it is one of those memories Mari holds close to her

huge heart.

The shelter, after rudely giving me a once-over and poking a

needle into my refined back quarter, wrapped me into this

blue washcloth that had a

butterfly applique on it. They wrapped my butt in the cloth actually...as tiny as I was back then, I was still too big to totally fit into a teensy wash cloth.

In my defense, I swear it was a long trip traveling up our mountain to my new domain, and well, I was

a baby.

By the time we arrived and Mari unwrapped me...I'd left her this very fragrant

little gift. I look back on that moment with the wisdom of my kind. I was letting her know that I'd arrived as I meant to be. (Yep, every so often, when my personal

commode is not up to my exacting standards I have been known to leave more recent gifts for Mari's brilliant

nose to find.)

Now, let me see...you wanted to know how long I've been Mari's wiser companion? I'm ten, so that means I am

The DECADE

Kitty!

That's probably a bit more than our audience wanted to know, but let's proceed anyway. What has life been like as Mari's "wiser companion"?

As a pet, she's been the best. She skimps on nothing. I have had the best that money can buy, such as

electronic litter boxes...but hey, I'm made of sterner stuff. I haven't met a

litter box my gifts could not defeat. There are a few Mari and I have read about, but even I think almost

$400.00 is a lot of money to spend on a toilet. She's threatening to get that book that is supposed to teach us cats


how to use the can...

Do I look like I would take to potty training to you?

I'm so not touching that question.

Coward!

Absolutely. You've lived with Mari during most of her twelve years on her mountain...oops, forgive me, YOUR mountain. Has she really avoided men all that time? And why?

Are you suggesting she lied when she shared her story IN FROM THE COLD? My Mari is exhaustively

honest.

Sometimes I wish she'd keep our truth to herself. The last thing I wanted her to talk about is how I reacted after she had me

spayed. She's only let Hector Winthrope, the old dude who lives across the street

other than Mari's son step across the threshold of our home in all the years I've been here.

Hector laughed so hard for a moment or two I was afraid he'd give himself heart failure.

Why didn't you want Mari to tell, Hector?, about your surgery?

Meow! Let's just say that was not one of my finer moments.

Come on, Timp, tell us about it. You can't open the subject and then freeze us out!

Who says I can't? Okay, okay. I didn't like being away from Mari and the cabin for three whole days...and why is that? You humans go in for surgery and come home the same day, but us they keep for three solid days?

They make us come home in these gawd awful things called pet carriers...like the surgery wasn't enough of an indignity! The minute Mari opened that prison door, I hit the ground running. Recovery? Who needs that?

Three days later I had to be taken back to the vet hospital cause my belly was swinging so low it was scraping the ground.

The blood thirsty vet had to insert a needle and drain the bloody fluid because well, I had too much living to do to climb up on my blanketed perch and recover.

I'm assuming you DID recover well since you are here looking fit as a feline fiddle.

Only after the second draining and Mari shoved

pain killers down my throat that knocked me out for long stretches of time.

Sounds like you and Mari have had a great life together.

We did, until Hector died and that evil real estate agent went behind our backs and sold

Hector's cabin to a guy almost as young as Mari's son.

The minute that dude moved in Mari's whole attitude changed and she spent an awful lot of time ignoring me so she could

stare out the window while cursing in ways that turned my ears, my toes, and a few other parts of me

pink.

Why did she start cursing?

Well now if I tell you that, I'd be letting the

cat out of the bag...meow.

Seriously IN FROM THE COLD has all the answers I am just too refined to offer and it is releasing from

MUSE IT HOT Publishing in June of this year. So you all are just going to have to check out L.J. Holmes' Bookstore page, her Author's Page and her Main Blog if you want to know anything more. Oh and you can also e-mail her. Maybe she'll tell you more if you ask her the right way.

Aw come on! You're here to dish the dirt.

And I have done that. I let you in on the truth about my...uhmmm, mrrrptt...

bathroom

habits

...and my post surgery adventures. Seriously, I don't share my

bathroom tendencies lightly. Anything more would be far too indiscreet for a refined kitty such as me.

Well then I guess I am just going to have to thank you, Timp for coming onto my blog and letting us in on as much as you  did.

Before we close, I want to thank Muse's very own

Cover Art Goddess, Delilah K. Stephans for the two amazing book covers for

IN FROM THE COLD and

THE PENDULUM SWINGS.

Timp has given us all the places to locate L.J. Holmes, so the only thing left for me is to remind one and all,

Muse is:

~BUILDING THE TEAM TO ACHIEVE THE DREAM~

and we are ALL part of this fantastic dream.

BUT before I go, I want to give you a heads up. Check back often. My Next IN FROM THE COLD guest will be The Hero, Elliot Blakely's FUSE BOX...I am so excited!

6 comments:

Kaye Manro said...

OMG! This is so funny! Kat, your mom takes it all when it comes to humor. Thanks for sharing all this crazed cat stuff!!

Ginger Simpson said...

Timp has tempted me. Who knew a cat was so wise. I don't mean Kat; we know you're wise, I mean Timp the cat. Another amazing promotion by L.J. Holmes.

N.J.Walters said...

OMG This is great. Timp is so wise. *g*

Kat said...

Naturally Timp is wise. She's a cat.:-)

MuseItUp Publishing said...

My doggies, Daisy and Phiona, like Timp...well,not sure why they like Timp--whether for play or food---but they've been grinning ear to ear after seeing Timp's pic. LOL

Kat said...

Um, if they're hungry keep them away from Timp! She has sharp claws.:-)